Last week, the terrible scourge of bullying reached the nation’s newspaper headlines after it was revealed a 12-year-old Sydney schoolgirl tragically took her life after being bullied.
The mother of Charlotte, who was a student at Santa Sabina College in Strathfield, told Ben Fordham Live that she had desperately tried to stop the “friendship issues” that her daughter faced, including emailing the school several times over the year, beginning in August 2022.
“My beautiful girl took her own life last night because of the relentless friendship issues she faced,” Kelly wrote in an email sent to the College on September 10.
In the interview with Ben Fordham, Kelly said she was scared to label it bullying, even though “that's exactly what it was”.
“I begged the school to intervene with these girls and now she is gone forever,” she said.
The tragedy follows new research from Queensland researchers showing that out of 336 Australian girls aged 14-19, a staggering 98% reported experiencing cyberbullying, with 62% reported appearance-related cyberbullying specifically.
Worryingly, 96% of appearance-related cyberbullying victims expressed a desire to change their appearance as a result, and 81% of appearance-related cyberbullying victims expressed a desire undergo cosmetic procedures as a result.
Taliah Prince, a PhD candidate at the University of Sunshine Coast’s Thompson Institute, said it was believed to be the first study to comprehensively investigate the effects of appearance-related cyberbullying on girls’ mental health and wellbeing.
“This is important because eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of all psychiatric disorders among adolescent girls, and body dissatisfaction is the leading risk factor for eating disorders,” Prince said.
“Because appearance-related cyberbullying is associated with body dissatisfaction and eating disorder symptoms, we must understand its prevalence and impact and how it might be contributing to these serious mental health conditions.”
Schools need more guidance
Experts say students and teachers may be uncertain about reporting and fixing bullying, leaving the issue to continue.
Dr Victoria Rawlings, an expert on school bullying in the School of Education and Social Work at the University of Sydney, said the devastating loss of 12-year-old Charlotte highlights the profound effects that interpersonal violence can have on young people in and beyond schools.
“While almost inconceivable in its tragedy, her death reminds us that young people’s relational trauma and violence can be deeply disturbing and traumatising,” Dr Rawlings told The Educator. “In effect, it can make young people feel that there is no hope or future for them.”
Dr Rawlings said this loss is also a stark reminder us that schools sometimes lack the tools that they need to combat violence in their corridors and classrooms, including policies that are responsive to the ways that violence is enacted by and affects students.
“Existing Australian and global policies often rely on narrow definitions of bullying that were established some decades ago.”
Dr Rawlings said these “static” definitions usually require three factors to be evident for the label ‘bullying’ to be applied: Intention [that there is an aggressor and that they intend on causing harm]; Repetition [that the violence occurs multiple times to the person targeted]; and Power imbalance [that the aggressor and receptor of violence have different levels of power].
“While some instances of violence might meet this threshold, many damaging interactions fail to do so,” she said. “As a result, students, teachers, or parents might not be able to label harmful incidents as ‘bullying’ or will be corrected if they do.”
Crucially, says Dr Rawlings said, this term holds a lot of institutional power.
“Schools might ‘take bullying seriously’, but what counts as bullying? What is left out?” she said.
“Research has shown that the result of these strict definitions means that a range of violent incidents [including those that could be constituted as assault] might go unreported or uninterrupted.”
In addition, says Dr Rawlings said, they often ignore systemic and structural factors that contribute to violence, particularly in diverse school environments.
“In other words, elements like gender, sexuality, race, religion, or disability often don’t come into consideration under these policies,” she said.
Violence impacts school performance and connection
Interpersonal violence is one of the most crucial determinants of a student’s belonging and connectedness at school, says Dr Rawlings.
“Research shows that when belonging and connectedness decrease, so do elements like educational engagement, educational achievement, and a desire to attend school,” she said.
“While many schools are investing more time, resources, training and systems into supporting student wellbeing and relationships, there remains significant work to undoing harms caused by restrictive policy and a lack of institutional resourcing around teacher time, training, and support.”
Dr Rawlings said that while moments of social discord might be seen as minor or insignificant, Charlotte’s story is a poignant reminder that they can fall heavily on the shoulders of children and young people.
“Schools that are accelerating their efforts to support students’ wellbeing and relationships in a purposeful, explicit, and holistic way should be commended,” she said.
“More broadly, we need to consider how this crucial work is often unrecognised in the face of more readily available and celebrated metrics on school performance.”
Help is out there
Professor Daryl Higgins is the Director of the Institute of Child Protection Studies at the Australian Catholic University.
He says for parents dealing with bullying, there are several resources which offer Australian-specific advice and support for parents dealing with bullying.
“One of these is Kids Helpline – a free, confidential support service for children and teenagers in Australia,” Professor Higgins told The Educator.
“They provide counselling and support for a range of issues, including bullying. They also have tips for parents, information on how to support a child being bullied, and access to counselling services.”
Another, says Professor Higgins, is ‘Bullying. No Way!’.
“It’s an Australian government initiative providing resources for schools, parents, and students to address bullying and promote positive behaviour,” he said. “They have Information sheets, strategies for parents, and resources for schools.”
ReachOut Australia has also been providing critical support, says Professor Higgins.
“ReachOut provides support and resources for parents and young people dealing with mental health issues, including bullying. They offer practical advice and strategies.”
Three other supportive organisations that are helping schools tackle the scourge of bullying, says Professor Higgins, are the eSafety Commissioner, Parentline Australia, and the Australian Institute of Family Studies (AIFS), which he says provide important advice and support for parents on managing bullying and supporting children.
When asked about the key messages for schools and families to support families of children being bullied, Professor Higgins pointed to the importance of managing one’s emotions and being empathic.
“This is whether it’s about hearing your child’s experiences of being bullied, or whether it’s finding out or being concerned that they may be engaging in bullying behaviour towards others,” he said.
Below, Professor Higgins outlined some key strategies for parents and school staff:
- Listen and Support: Create a safe space for children to share their feelings without judgment.
- Communicate: There needs to be collaboration between parents an d school staff to address and resolve the situation.
- Document the Bullying: Keep a record of incidents and of the communications – between parents, schools or other parties.
- Empower Children: Teach coping strategies and encourage self-confidence.
- Seek Professional Help: If needed, consult with a mental health professional for additional support.